Sitting here doing a lot of soul searching, and wondering really if I was a mind reader, what would I find? Strangely enough I'm not mad, I feel numb. Just like something died inside. Just came to the realization that one aspect will never change. It's time I come to terms with it, and accept my fate. I feel lost right now. I don't know which direction to go. Maybe in some sick way I enjoy this feeling, maybe I bask in it. Wishing I could just go to bed and not wake up. When trust is broken, what is left? While love still remains, a huge fissure has appeared in the foundation. Must keep busy, because what I really want to do is so extremely selfish, I can't put my children through that. THEY keep me going..... nothing else.
