Sitting here doing a lot of soul searching, and wondering really if I was a mind reader, what would I find? Strangely enough I'm not mad, I feel numb. Just like something died inside. Just came to the realization that one aspect will never change. It's time I come to terms with it, and accept my fate. I feel lost right now. I don't know which direction to go. Maybe in some sick way I enjoy this feeling, maybe I bask in it. Wishing I could just go to bed and not wake up. When trust is broken, what is left? While love still remains, a huge fissure has appeared in the foundation. Must keep busy, because what I really want to do is so extremely selfish, I can't put my children through that. THEY keep me going..... nothing else.
1 comment:
you know I think from time to time we all get that since of feeling lost.. i know ive felt that more times that i care to recall and like you I would want to jusst jump in bed cover up my head and hoped the world would go away or make the pain i felt go away.. and in any relationship when the rust factor feels threatend or broken it somehow makes us feels detached from everything.. but sweetie when you feel like that grab ur compass {ur bible }and i promise it will help u and guide u in the most trying and darkest of times ..
I look fwd to reading ur blogs and laughing with u , crying with u and shareing alot of good memories ... I think ur a very good woman and mother .. hang in there .. Kris
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